And when the guests are gone...

Out with the guests, in with the hot tub

with a bbq

and more wine 

and more drinking games 

What. A. Day.

Who said that life in Peisey is boring?

After having a lovely and classy picnic at the snow park with the team we headed over to our favourite place, the Arpett. ANNNNNNND of course, that's where it all goes downhill* (not Just because it's 2000m up) so this week started off fairly normal, some sacko wine, some table dancing, getting in the cage, having a moshpit, breaking onto the platform** etcetc

As you can see from the photos we get progressively more outrageous, again.

So a started to get interesting not long after Rob popped out the Champagne, but instantly after Lewis brought out the BIGGEST BOTTE OF WINE I HAVE EVER SEEN. We had been surfing on our wobbly table all Arpett then suddenly it collapsed, we actually broke the whole thing.

Then as we are leaving I get talking to a beautiful bearded gent, and part of our conversation turns to the Piste Patrol Looking after some drunk guy on the floor to then realise it was Chalet Pascale's very own Joel Agg. So I have to drop my board and my conversation with the beautiful bearded man to rescue my roommate. By this point the Patrol have already decided that they've called an AIR AMBUANCE (A Real life FREKKING HEICOPTER) to come and get him after they can't get any conversation out of him (despite him responding to me when I spoke to him).

 So after a few phone calls to Boss Man Archie ("Hi Archie, don't worry but can we get the insurance details please" "Hey, me again, do you Know all of Joel's details please" "Hi Arch, me again, so yeah don't worry but Joel's being taken away in a helicopter, you can hear it right???") Mr Agg was being taken away. Piste Patrol kept trying to rid me from the area but I'd do anything for my boyfriend (or so they thought, I Really wanted to go in the helicopter too) so waited around, then they forced me onto a Snow Mobile, but hey I wasn't complaining. And when your friend is being taken to Hospital, you have to take selfies on the Skidoo.

So the whilst our Joel is on his way there, we do what us in Peisey are good at...drink more.

 And after a pitcher of long Island Ice Tea the rest of my evening is a blank. but I did have a great time and even rocked up to Band Night in my Salad Pets.

Then onto today....I cut up 4KG of lamb and made lamb tagine and we picked up the piece of our lives and Louise got her clothes and I located my helmet and we had a lovely (non alcoholic) bevvie in the sun.

*the Arpett never makes anything worse, Just better.

** I have never felt more famous in my whole life, and as Louise put it "I felt like Brittany!"                                                      

End of Season Mayhem

12/04/17

The mountains are getting a lot more adventurous, and not just with my terrible snowboarding but with the limits we can push our livers to. Another week, another week of blaming sacko wine (again) for my end-of-night death. We had a fab group of guests last week, a big family group of 19, 10 adults and 9 kids. They invited us down for card games and downing the dreaded chardonnay, sang songs about camembert and being a chicken-bear for not doing the waterside. So refreshing to have a group like that!

On Tuesday we were heading back from the mountain (and another successful waterside mission) and Louise's snowboard binding just came off, being 2000m up and breaking a binding isn't a great combo, especially when you have a deadline to get back into work on time. So she ended up getting the snowmobile down! The evil girl (on a gap yaarrhhh) who we always see at band night lost her ski's at the same time and got the short straw of having to go down in the blood wagon. As much as I genuinely really wanted to ride it, seeing her suffer was worth it more after her rampage at the staff "I AM NOT FXXXING GOING IN THAT THING NOOOOOOOOOOOOO", yo girl pipe down they're trying to help hahah!

The snow hasn't been great (aka almost none existent) so we've been occupying our snowboard time by going to the burger shack in 1600, doing the luge (and beating Joel HA) and hitting up the snowpark where a couple of days ago I managed to and a black ump on my first attempt!  (backs the hardest one). We also missed the last lifts to get home and the runs were closed the other day so had to bus it/phone call of shame to Archie to pick us up (AGAIN) (our hero).

last week we took part in the annual Tour Du Fromage in 1800. It's a photo challenge and a race against time (and the other teams) to compete the challenges. It also included lots of sacko wine. So much sacko. See the last post for some gnarly shots (Best Naked Air, Nature Shot, etc) Best Booty from the boys, Photo with the Les Arc sign and whatever else! It also included the Goblin being the last person in the King of The Hill challenge, not only the slowest but didn't even keep his pint. After to celebrate Rob's birthday we had a BBQ/Bonfire over in Nancroix which was great to hang, until the "WEEEEEEE like TO DRINk WITH BECCA"'s came out and it predicted my death (again) and needing assisting home (AGAIN). Oh we, here for a good time, not a long time ya know! Who even needs a liver, right?   

After last night's bonfire (and Duncan accidentally downing chilli vodka, then getting it in his eyes (more of a mess than me)) we're heading up the mountain to enjoy our last day off with our crew having a picnic then going to the Arpett for some more chaos. Can't believe how fast this has a gone, but with me and Louise booing fights to Tenerife and Scotland already and my one way ticket to Spain there's plenty more adventures panned from when we leave or little town here in the mountains. 

The hike and hitchhike

28/03/17

So last night we decided to take a night away from Peisey and the adventures of Gregs or Mont Blonc and we went over to Arc 1600 for the evening.

We hit up a bar with an ABC night (anything but clothes). So me and Duncan decided to rep the bedsheet toga look, luckily for us we weren't the only ones in fancy dress and we met up with some other wannabe Romans. People did get creative on their costumes, everything from a suitcase, to bin bags to dresses made from piste maps. THIS BAR ALSO PLAYED THE POKEMON THEME SONG WITHOUT A REQUEST FROM ME.

Sounds really easy, I mean it's only 10 minutes there by bus or a short ski away so walking wont take that long right?
Yeah, wrong. After many failed attempts at hitching a ride on a snow mobile we decided to slip, stumble, slide, sledge and fall along the piste back to Vallandry. Drunken Duncan also thought it would be funny to tell me that wolves usually attack people on the slopes after dark (they don't, but I didn't know that) but karma got him and he rode his sledge off the mountain. THEN after what must've been over an hour walk (still in our bedsheet togas) we managed to hitch a ride with a group of young, french people who took us to the bottom of the hill (our heroes) and after a midnight snack time for some much needed beauty sleep.

All in all, a solid 7/10.

16/03/17

16/03/17

So far this week has been a complete detox week (for me at least). Been chugging 3 mugs of Green Tea, been avoiding eating those cake mix bowls and been getting all my slow-release energy from porridge in the morning. Not touched a drop of alcohol in a week! New week, new me...untill I start getting back on it again on Sunday haha 

Shame I can't say the same for Louise. Me and Duncan (or Druncan) had to drunk snowboard her home from the Arpette; then shamefully call Archie for a lift when we missed the Lobster pots and had an hour wait till the bus. Worth it for the sunset snowboard home though! 

This weeks guests are nice, but man it's so quiet in the chalet without hearing K-CARAFE every 10 minutes. But my body is grateful for the break. 

Off to fancy dress snowboard today for our boy (and badass snowboard tutor) Adam's birthday. I can't wait to draw attention to my terrible self on the slopes... or not! 

Me, Louise and Jess pre-table dancing, I love! 

Us and drunken Duncan

14/03/17

Day 8 of boarding and I can finally go straight, and decided to go over some ramps. Didn't end as badly as I thought. Beginning to look more like one of them badass skateboarding dogs than a baby giraffe now. BOOM.

God bless this mess.

I don't even know what has happened this week, half through my own alcohol consumption, half becuase it's been another level of mental. Our guests went from being naked on the tables to waterboarding each other in Gregs in less than a week.

 "We will literally drink anything you put down in front of us"

...and they did. This even extended to bringing out desserts and putting a jug of cream on the table only to find the whole group chinning a glass each a few minutes later.

I haven't lost too many brain cells this week because I've learnt some wicked new games. Like the horseracing game where there was 7 chairs broken in the carnage of the cards, bets and the competition of the most impressive horse racing song (from pens in mouth to irish danging on the coffee table). Needless to say I'm going to miss the dinner time shananigans or being able to hear the chants from my room (6 flights and three doors away). EAT ITTTTT / WEAR ITTTT / K - CARAFE / WE HAVE A LINKKKKKKKKKKKKKK / LETS PLAY THE VEGETABLE GAME / COMANDER SAYS BIBLEBOPS / TEEEEEEEEEEEETH /

Aside from the severe liver damage I have ensured this week, from late night hot tub hangs, to needed helping up the stairs, to inviting us out and enduing us into a raclet cheese coma. We have maybe had our favourite week yet. At the very least, it's been entertaining and memorable and I miss them all already. This week calls for a complete detox though, now where did I put that green tea? 

We are the turnips looking for the kale.

Glasses/mugs/plates/wine bottles etc smashed by guests: 20 + 

Glasses/mugs/plates smashed by me: 5
Glasses/mugs/plates/a whole bottle of wine smashed by Louise: 3
Empty beer bottles NOT smashed by Louise when she fell over the coffee table: 4
Glasses/mugs/plates smashed by Joel and Archie: 0 
Plates fallen on my foot: 1
Litres of wine consumed: Too many
Litres of wine thrown up: Too many

Times I've had to clean up other peoples vom: 3

Chairs broken: 7
Beds broken: 1

09/03/17

A quick couple of videos from snowboarding, ft. some gnarly falls.
This is after about 15 hours of slope time, so I can only get better, right?

08/03/17

So last week and this week couldn't be any more different. We had a 'boat race' (it's where you down your drinks, Nan) and played a game of celebrities with our guests. This week we have to come out for mid-service shots and slap them in the face with cheese.

In my last post I said about that guest who owed us a favor? Well we turned them into masterchefs and made the favor helping us with desserts and it went from just having Will helping us to having Ollie and Will helping us (and we got a cheeky cheeseboard from them too). Cheers guys, our heroes. Photos to follow.

So this week, I can't see anyone coming in the kitchen to help with any courses becuase they just come in the kitchen just to snort icing sugar off the sides (literally icing sugar, it's hilarious). Polishing off an impressive 30-40 bottles of wine a night between 21 of them, not even mad, just very, very impressed.

So of course, that amount of wine consumtion means that there are lots of drunk antics, I can't say I've ever been around so many naked people in my life...not even in the chalet; down our local too. Fully nude. Dancing on the tables. Dancing on the poles. Just. So. Much. Naked. It also means they chase Louise trying to get her teenage blood for eternal youth or something. It also means that I have to clean sick from THE WHOLE BATHROOM (how did they even manage that, like HOW?!). Not so much a drunk antic, bt they made a megabed too (5 beds pushed together) solid effort team.

Me and the bathroom of doom

A passed out guest and the Megabed

I feel like I'm Jordan in Wolf Of Wallstreet every time I have to tell them something, or doing my welcome speech.

So being with these bad influences means that y'know, maybe I can't handle my drink as well as I'd like to say (blame the altitude). Shoutout to my resort manager or walking me home after I died on Sunday night haha.

The only thing getting us through this week (apart from the mid-service shots) is listening to Natasha Bedingfield on repeat in the mornings. But you know what they say, if you can't beat them; join them.

21/02/17

and I know when that hot tub bling 

that can only mean one thing 

19/02/17 

Another beautiful few days in the Alps. It's hitting about 13 degrees at the moment so all our snow is on the go. But after a fab week with some great guests it's really positive to look forwards to the next week.Food presentation is getting there too, so this week should be posting a few more piccys of the plates we've been serving. 

Week 3 highlights: 

-Being crowdsurfed (but not made to dry hump the ceiling) 

-Dying on my way down a red slope

- Being taught some more french 

- Deep cleaning the whole chalet (syke) 

10/02/17

Another whirlwind week over in the alps! Been a bit busy thus no post but here's a bit to fill you in on;

Skiing!

I'm on a ski season so what everyone wants to know is probably how my skiing is going and well, let's put it this way; I'm still alive.

So skiing hurts. My legs feel like jelly 50% of the time the other 50% like boulders. Heavy, rocky boulders. And I tell you what, if I don't look like Beyonce by the end of season I want my money back. I am covered in bruises across my knees and my butt.
Sometimes I don't ski though, I have to make do with sliding down slopes on my bum at the speed of light, almost falling off the mountain and getting snow sprayed up my nose. Would be more fun if it wasn't so terrifying. I have only taken out one child so far, so that's a win for me, maybe not for little Marie or whoever she is (she should've probs been in school anyway).

Jokes aside, I am tackling red slopes now (Green, Blue, Red, Black etc) and on day 6 I'm pretty happy with that. I'm getting better on my speed, purely because I'm seeing all the kids off school this week whizzing past me at 90kph and I'm Grandma Becca snow plowing the whole way.

Nightlife (or lack of) 

Our local is effectively a pub with a pool table and pole. Owned by the complete legend who is Gregg*. Similarly to my local in Tenerife there is usually only about 8 people in there. We have had a couple of good nights there, me and my partner in crime, Louise. Our favourite venture out of the chalet is on a Wednesday night (so in a few hours time) we will be heading up to band night (y'know, the dry humping the ceiling rig). Throwing 16 year old guests in the air to crowdsurf or having the band play some Sum 41. Time to get on some Jelly Bean (aka Genopi).


Life in France

Running down to the local bakery to pick up the baguettes in the morning, pretty french right? Although I speak no more French than what I did 3 weeks ago I am trying to pick up some new phrases here and there. Most of it seems to have been pushed out of my brain as I learnt a bit of Spanish last year. I suppose that isn't always a bad thing though as most of the French I know I shouldn't really be using in conversation anyway.

We're not always skiing, or drinking! ($5 for a bottle of Fanta too, oh good lord someone pass the tap water) Last Wednesday for our day off we went up to the Rodeo Park and went on the toboggans. Fair to say, like everything else snow related, I was awful and resulting in everyone waiting down the bottom for me for about 10 minutes. I still have no idea how to steer the thing and I'm just gutted that I was worse in real life at Mario Kart than I am at it on Nintendo DS.

Work

The best part about being out here...of course.
Back in good old 2007 a video came out called Charlie The Unicorn (for anyone who hasn't seen it you can click here) and after reminiscing about the good old days of the internet (A WHOLE DECADE AGO?!) we decided that me and Louise are just like the annoying unicorns constantly pestering our boss man Archie. Just to give you an idea of how it is for us to all work together.
This week our Chalet Chef, Joel, was off sick so it meant that me and Louise ditched the marigolds (part-time) and put our aprons on and bossed the cooking. Louise did a better job than me on prepping the food after my flop of honeycomb, but together we finally made it. Great thing to have people actually taking picture of your grub and sending it to other people.

One of my jobs at the chalet is to drive the van. So after learning how to deal with snowchains and driving in the ice and slush I finally got there, and of course ruined all my hard work learning by driving on the wrong side of the road. Dangit!
The job itself involves loads of cleaning, something I am very good at (not). Although it's not as gritty as my farm work back in 2015, it's never great finding condom wrappers in guests rooms before 10am.

I have been getting on with the job though, you'll be pleased to know and getting some good guest feedback! Although I do get nagged quite a lot by Archie the Unicorn but mostly for eating all the cake mix becuase he doesn't want me going off sick because of the raw eggs.

*Gregg, from Gregg's bar has been teaching me French and it's really tough to get their RUGHH sound without sounding like you're flemming hardcore.

P.S Duncan told me to give him a shoutout or say he's great or something and he said he'll read it so here it is.