Being over one month into my six month contract (two boats in and a million flying foxes later) I've settled into ship life to a routine (and I don't just mean getting a Grill and visiting my mate Jim (or gym) everyday on the minute as promised). Things that would seem strange "in the real world" are just the norm. How many times do you walk into a bar and see the displays tied down? (If it doesn't happen in whetherspoons Crawley, why would it need to happen on a 4m swell in the middle of an ocean??)
In a lot of ways it feels like being back in school:
-You can't drink
-When you're in trouble you get called into the head's office
-You get certificates when you're good
-Uniform (need I say more)
-School dinners (minus a cheeky fruitwinder)
-Anyone dressed more fancy than you in probs your boss... but in our case we're easily up there with the engineers for being scruffy with our peedy shorts, no makeup and Ms Trudgebull hair.
But there's no hiding under the desk if you've forgotten to do your coursework in hope your teacher misses you, you just have to embrace it... or just get more creative
We also have crew rounds; where they inspect how tidy and clean our cabins are which is dumb because I left home to get away from Mum and Dad nagging me about my room but now I have the Captain of the boat (aka my boss) doing it. Blessed.
It's strange in ways too because they have this whole underground (well underwater) routes for staff. A way to transport goods, do maintenance, and run to the staff canteen in the morning in your PJ's. They keep us all the way on the bottom of the ship in Decks 1-4 mostly, which is where you find most things from the engine room to the crew laundry, all off of the central nervous system AKA the M1. I've finally navigated around the boat with my Port - Starboard, Front to Aft, Alpha to Lima staircase (aka where I live, where I get food, and somewhere in between A and L is k which is good ol' Kilo staircase).
There's a lot of things I'd forgotten about working with kids in the time off I have from working with them (when I actively avoid anyone under the age of 16) that are the best thing about my "chosen career path" HA. I love the stuff they come out with, especially Aussie kids, they give nicknames to everyone for everything, they use slang a l l the time and are just generally outdoorsy people which is fab. But kids will be kids wherever you go and they'll try (and fail) to prank you, laugh at you when you tell them you fell down the stairs (yep, that happened and the massive bruise on my arm and leg are a constant reminder that I did), or that you got your ring caught on your swollen finger and after 30 minutes of soap-rinse-pull-panic and repeat and the fear of either having your ring cut off, or your finger (or the cost of EITHER) you managed to slip your pinky free...they still find it hilarious!
Generally speaking we're getting some cool kids on the ship, but having a flock of mini-me's running around and getting you soft drinks on demand and worshiping the ground you walk on never gets old...
...I mean, there's the whole inspiring their life thing, career choice, fondest life memories you create and yaddayaddayadda, but who cares about that when you can just make Lachlan go get you a pink frosted sprinkle donut for free?
Talking of food, I've been BINGEINGGGGGGGGGG anything that even remotely resembles sugar, milk, fat, salt, CARBS (oh my god so many carbs) I have been chomping away on. All the time. With a job this active, all I can think about is my next burrito. I have no idea what's going on. All I can say is that it's a good job I've been working it off at the gym... and when I say gym I mean putting on comfy clothes, chucking on Jurassic Park and walking for an hour on a crosstrainer...unless there's dinosaurs chasing me; then I might go a little faster.
As I said in my previous blog, I haven't been able to get off as much as I would've liked to, but that's no problem because we only port maybe 1/4 of the time we're on the boat anyway. Who needs dry land anyway? But when we do, it's just like the days of the Holiday Village where you avoid those shiny silver wristbands like the plague. It's exactly the same here but the dreaded P&O Lanyard. The last thing I want in my few hours of freedom is to make small talk with Breanna and Brett about the State Of Origin and pretend I care when all I really want is a beach, dominoes and some fro-yo. IS THAT TOO MUH TO ASK??
After hearing some horror stories (and most recently some sad news from my old boat) about the whole "no alcohol" thing, I have been taking it really easy. It's great because I can remember what happens every night, even if nobody else can. Even the dodgy clumpy rice from Crew Mess post a Crew Bar outing. The crew bar is basic, but it has everything you need, a Jukebox, cheap drinks (hello $1 shots and $2 strongbow*) some foosball, and of course Karaoke. But the staff here haven't been blessed with my angelic voice screeching along to Pokemon, Macklemore or the Offspring just yet. I also apparently won a costume contest for Safari night (boob glitter goes a long way apparently) so I'm not $30 richer, wheyyyy!
*Aussie Stongbow is wayyyyyyyyy nicer than the cheap nasty stuff at home
** £1 = $1.75 or something
