Saturday 27 May 2017

Suns out?!

Writing this from my house in Crawley for once!

Had a BBQ with my family today, minus favourite child Craig.



Enjoyed watching everyone try and put up this airbag/inflatable vagina thing.





And in 5 short hours I'll be on the train over to Cornwall for the weekend! Why do I always leave packing to the last minute?!
Had an AMAZING time in Spain. Massive shoutout to Cow for having me. Enjoy some dodgy photos from my trip!

Best Rumor 2016 <3

 Did someone say Captain Morgans?!

Girls night out!

I'm sure the photos the boys got were a bit more PG13. Reason 12 why you shouldn't fall asleep on a night out









Total hoe-mance with my girl Em!





Gibraltar 




Wet Wednesday Waterpark crew! 


Standard shananigans on a night out... crowdsurfing


Some actual tourist photos 





Tuesday 23 May 2017

23/05/17

Hot mess express.

Sleep all day, party all night. I am literally just a glorified wasteman, but getting a tan whilst doing it.

Been hitting 24h Square (aka Sausage Square) every night so far which means I’m seeing the same faces, or they’re seeing me and I’m pretending to recognize them. Got my kebab crew who now know me by name. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but when I’m doubt- embrace it.

Me looking gross but got my family with me 

It’s been ever  night we tried to get as much ‘free stuff’ as we could and I obtained my alter-uglier-ego in those horrible human glasses but my new homegal Katie was the champ with like 4 hats 2 sunnies a shirt and whatever else. I asked some fella at the kebab shop for his shirt and told him im homeless and sleeping on my mates sofa so I needed his top, then he slips me €20 and tells me to buy my own! Feeling so guilty I just wanted his Hawaiian shirt, oops! There have been about 10000 other hilarious moments, but I can only remember about 10% of that and I’m sure that most aren’t blog appropriate!

Me and some geeza                                          Doggo with some freebies




Me, Nicola and Ramsey went to this massive Aqualand opening party. It was sick! And as for me the last few days have been chilling out and hoping my throat infection clears up a bit (too much dodgy voddy).


 Me and Nicola before her fingers grew too big haha



Who's our mates? Wish I knew to say! 

A few bevvies in, check the eyes and random sequin hat. Ooops! 


 This geeza wanted a bit of the B so I ran in the swimming pool to repel him, didn't work

Party Team! 

I’m heading back to the motherland in a few days time as an exciting new opportunity has come up-but more on that over the next few days. Cheeky!

Thursday 18 May 2017

Hola from Costa!

Hola Amigos!






Writing this one from Costa Del Sol. After catching my 8th flight from Gatwick this year I’ve landed in the south of Spain and ½ of Team Tenerife Best Rumor 2016.







                                                                      
First photo of the reunion!                                                           Bob The Bug ready for the adventure 

So far my holiday/adventure/gap life/expensive waste man days have been pretty sick! (and I’ve been pretty sick, keeping consistent I died on my first night, oops). Currently on day 4. And night 3/3 in the town. Cow’s told me that he’s a changed man this year and he doesn’t go out as much and blablabla so of course I’m trying my best to be a bad influence and it’s working. I’m a blessing and a curse.

First night kebab stop! 


I’ve been doing my favorite thing whilst I’ve been here: breaking into hotels and pretending I’m All Inclusive helloooo free bevvies! Gotta try work it off somehow though so I have been keenly involved in Aqua Fit and I haven’t been drowned once in Water Polo, obviously there was just more testosterone in Tenerife. Its proper weird being on the bikini-wearing-cocktail-drinking-oil-me-up-in-the-sun side of the hotel rather than the knee length shorts and baggy shirt side. Although I couldn’t resist doing a cheeky Jellyman at the poolside.


         My ugly feet                                                                  Avril  Lavigne hair


Yesterday we hopped on the bus to Gibraltar, bless, Cow was feeling a little bit ‘travel sick’ on the way there too. It’s a proper weird place, seeing a Debenhams whilst basically in Spain but only 23km from Africa isn’t something I’d expect. But we saw some monkeys, did some shopping, felt a bit sorry for our hungover selves, and had a fab day. 
 
Not sure how long I’m here for but so far so good.

Friday 12 May 2017

Living the High Life in the High Lands!

So I have just returned from my 7th flight this year and (what I just realised) the most northern point I have ever been! And a wicked week away visiting some friends from around the word.

Only drank Irn Bru...that makes me Scottish now...right?

Since my last post of Scotland I have spent 1 night in EdinBurger, 1 night in Glasgow town, 3 night with my Tenerife #1 in East Kilbride and a night camping on a beach.

So after our cocktail-bag-in-the-garden fiasco we went back out into the city for a more...civilized evening of drinks....well you can guess how that turned out! Started off in a random bar where I got chatting to a girl from Cornal and it turns out she's one of my good mates from Tenerife's brother ex so she knows the whole family! Small world! Later we ended up in a beer garden and after making friends with a group of Army dudes (and getting some free bevvies) I bumped into one of my mates from my ski season, even smaller world!

So turns out he's on a stag do and invites me along. Not long after joining the group it gets explained that the Stag has been given dare cards and one of the dares earlier in the night was to swap clothes with the smallest member of the party...which was now me.


And I'm not one to turn down a challenge, so here we are! After a great night out in the town I really fancied some post-nightout grub. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAPITAL CITY THERE IS NOWHERE TO GET FOOD PAST 3AM WHAT IS THIS. So the next day I quickly disappeared to Glasgow where I knew I wouldn't be let down.

After getting dropped off in Glasgow and having a huge catch up with my Scottish sister Kirstyn we did what we do best by experiencing a new cities night culture. Catching the train into Glasgow Centre the night consisted of shots, rounds, more shots and making innocent bystanders do the worm and (poor John) trying to drag the bouncer out of the bar and over to Bistro for cheesy chips. Probably not his idea of a fun date. And would it really be a night out without having to walk Kirstyn home (even though it was just the short trip from the taxi to the front door).

God bless Glasgow and their easily accessible cheesy chips 

Cue massive hangout and hangover days.

After some well needed catch ups, loads of Simpsons Hit n Run, a BBQ and The Fart Game with Nichole it bought my time with the Scottish family to an end. 


A wee cheeky photo with my Scottish family! Best Girls Club 4eva

Next stop for us was over at Loch Lomand where (much to Louise's distaste) we decided to camp on the beach. And what a beaut it was. The photos really say more than I need to. Apart from Goblin's terrible attempt at Ghost Stories
"20 years ago on this exact beach" ..."So on this beach in the 1950's"...ummm?


 Queen of the campfire over here. W.I.P One Match Fire Starter 2k13 REPRESENT


 Our tent aka Fart Hot Box

Natures cool box

 
Massive thanks to the Smiths for having me stay and making me feel so welcome! 

There's not very many people who you can have out of your life for more than 6 months then as soon as you see each other you can easily pick up where you left off. Big up Kiki and Famz and their new education on what veggies eat haha!

Had a great time in my new favourite part of Britain. Until next time the Home of Irn Bru!