Greetings from Graz

Broken Bone Becca here with the latest update from across Europe.

After 7 Days of inhaling the smell of old lady shit and methane, laying in bed and trying to avoid eyecontact out of fear of being coaxed into conversation.

I'M FINALLY FREEEEEE

enjoying another great
night of sleep in E237

I had my operation, and obviously it all went to plan. I roll into theartre and Dr Jana says I'm on local aesthetic. This means some injections in my spin. Now- I don't make this public knowledge but I HATE INJECTIONS, so the thought of having some in my SPINE wasn't too appealing but hey- do what you gotta do. So I think they've done them, and I'm like PHEW WASNT SO BAD! GLAD THATS OVER! Nope. It was just the pen showing where they needed to do them. D'oh. 

Dr Jana then asks if I want any music whilst I'm having my operation, and what I want. I said hey- play anything. I just don't like country music. So what does she put on? Dixie Chicks. What a joker! But I ever had my very own pee bag, more people peeking at my privates than I'm used to. People putting suctions on my chest then causally forgetting to cover up the puppies after. Hello fixed leg, the only price? Dignity. 

But the leg hasn't been too painful for the most part. Not as painful as having a rag-and-bowl wash, getting round to giving the grand canyon a wipe and the attractive, young, tattoo's nurse walks in and you make eyecontact mid-butt wipe. Dignity. 

So since Wednesday I've been back to Fort Dennis. I don't have to ask when I want to pee, I can est nice food again! I don't have to suffer through German Big Bang Theory, we can watch Eurovision at our own free will. We've been to the cinema (WITH A HUGE POPCORN) to see Detective Pikachu, soaked up a rare bit of sun, eaten lunch with some Camels. Freedom never tasted so good. 

my chauffeur 

23/05/17

Hot mess express.

Sleep all day, party all night. I am literally just a glorified wasteman, but getting a tan whilst doing it.

Been hitting 24h Square (aka Sausage Square) every night so far which means I’m seeing the same faces, or they’re seeing me and I’m pretending to recognize them. Got my kebab crew who now know me by name. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but when I’m doubt- embrace it.

Me looking gross but got my family with me 

It’s been ever  night we tried to get as much ‘free stuff’ as we could and I obtained my alter-uglier-ego in those horrible human glasses but my new homegal Katie was the champ with like 4 hats 2 sunnies a shirt and whatever else. I asked some fella at the kebab shop for his shirt and told him im homeless and sleeping on my mates sofa so I needed his top, then he slips me €20 and tells me to buy my own! Feeling so guilty I just wanted his Hawaiian shirt, oops! There have been about 10000 other hilarious moments, but I can only remember about 10% of that and I’m sure that most aren’t blog appropriate!

Me and some geeza                                          Doggo with some freebies

Me, Nicola and Ramsey went to this massive Aqualand opening party. It was sick! And as for me the last few days have been chilling out and hoping my throat infection clears up a bit (too much dodgy voddy).

 Me and Nicola before her fingers grew too big haha

Who's our mates? Wish I knew to say! 

A few bevvies in, check the eyes and random sequin hat. Ooops! 

 This geeza wanted a bit of the B so I ran in the swimming pool to repel him, didn't work

Party Team! 

I’m heading back to the motherland in a few days time as an exciting new opportunity has come up-but more on that over the next few days. Cheeky!

Hola from Costa!

Hola Amigos!

Writing this one from Costa Del Sol. After catching my 8th flight from Gatwick this year I’ve landed in the south of Spain and ½ of Team Tenerife Best Rumor 2016.

                                                                      

First photo of the reunion!                                                           Bob The Bug ready for the adventure 

So far my holiday/adventure/gap life/expensive waste man days have been pretty sick! (and I’ve been pretty sick, keeping consistent I died on my first night, oops). Currently on day 4. And night 3/3 in the town. Cow’s told me that he’s a changed man this year and he doesn’t go out as much and blablabla so of course I’m trying my best to be a bad influence and it’s working. I’m a blessing and a curse.

First night kebab stop! 

I’ve been doing my favorite thing whilst I’ve been here: breaking into hotels and pretending I’m All Inclusive helloooo free bevvies! Gotta try work it off somehow though so I have been keenly involved in Aqua Fit and I haven’t been drowned once in Water Polo, obviously there was just more testosterone in Tenerife. Its proper weird being on the bikini-wearing-cocktail-drinking-oil-me-up-in-the-sun side of the hotel rather than the knee length shorts and baggy shirt side. Although I couldn’t resist doing a cheeky Jellyman at the poolside.

         My ugly feet                                                                  Avril  Lavigne hair

Yesterday we hopped on the bus to Gibraltar, bless, Cow was feeling a little bit ‘travel sick’ on the way there too. It’s a proper weird place, seeing a Debenhams whilst basically in Spain but only 23km from Africa isn’t something I’d expect. But we saw some monkeys, did some shopping, felt a bit sorry for our hungover selves, and had a fab day. 

 
Not sure how long I’m here for but so far so good.