Friday, 31 March 2017

"why is there a cheeseboard in my suitcase???"

-Joel
10.44am
31/03/17

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

The hike and hitchhike

28/03/17

So last night we decided to take a night away from Peisey and the adventures of Gregs or Mont Blonc and we went over to Arc 1600 for the evening.

We hit up a bar with an ABC night (anything but clothes). So me and Duncan decided to rep the bedsheet toga look, luckily for us we weren't the only ones in fancy dress and we met up with some other wannabe Romans. People did get creative on their costumes, everything from a suitcase, to bin bags to dresses made from piste maps. THIS BAR ALSO PLAYED THE POKEMON THEME SONG WITHOUT A REQUEST FROM ME.

Sounds really easy, I mean it's only 10 minutes there by bus or a short ski away so walking wont take that long right?
Yeah, wrong. After many failed attempts at hitching a ride on a snow mobile we decided to slip, stumble, slide, sledge and fall along the piste back to Vallandry. Drunken Duncan also thought it would be funny to tell me that wolves usually attack people on the slopes after dark (they don't, but I didn't know that) but karma got him and he rode his sledge off the mountain. THEN after what must've been over an hour walk (still in our bedsheet togas) we managed to hitch a ride with a group of young, french people who took us to the bottom of the hill (our heroes) and after a midnight snack time for some much needed beauty sleep.

All in all, a solid 7/10.




Monday, 27 March 2017

27/03/2017


Full entry to come soon, but here's a few pictures from this last week. Slight more eventful evenings, slightly less eventful days. Ft. My new (temporary) hair.

  Get the sacko out


 4 DAYS OF BAND NIGHT 4 DAYS OF BAND NIGHT




 Me and my boy Ed. Thank you Rob for the comparison and this constant reminder that I'm currently ginger. 


Friday, 24 March 2017

Another week for us at Chalet Pascale!

24/03/17
Our last week kid-free at Chalet Pascale! With the temps hitting up to 20degrees some days and spots of rain on others, the snow isn't too great here. It's just pure slush and with a board that is in desperate need of a wax it's been a slow week on the slopes. BUT I have realised I can ollie on my board so gold star for me?

Sunday Night down at Gregs we had a cross dress night, and being my only night this week not being designated driver, had a merry old time! Even included making sure all the guests got back to the chalet okay and it reminded me of my summer working kids club, walking backwards and headcounts (just minus the EVERYWHERE WE GO-OOO) 

Another week means another trip to the Arpett (and another sober Arpett for me!) and another Band Night, which means another time Duncan gets smushed into the celing becuase he's too drunk to defend himself. 

Our friends Adam and Daisy invited us over to their chalet Wednesday night for a curry night, damnnnnn. If I hadn't been missing the sweet taste of Bobby's Indian I was as soon as that spoon hit my mouth. Solid 10/10 for the pumpkin curry. 

Of course, not a week goes by without me saying something to embarress myself. This weeks gem was "Gordon always knows when it's sausage o'clock" and as soon as the words half escaped my mouth I knew I should've shut up hahah.
(Re: A bit more context, Gordon is the local dog who comes around in the morning for his bacon or sausages. Top babe. Cutest dog ever.)

Saturday, 18 March 2017

17/03/17

Some photos and a video I threw it together 5 minutes before work, don't judge the terrible editing, judge the terrible snowboarding.





Friday, 17 March 2017

16/03/17

What a day! Who said the sunshine doesn't put people in a better mood? (Plus about 15 of us in fancy dress).

We all went up the mountains dressed to impress, or maybe not. It's not everyday you get a snowboarding Jesus or Legoman at least. First stop was The Luge (remember the MarioKart sledging place from one of my first posts?). I think it's fair to say that with visability better than 5 metres and not having snow pelting you in the face it's 100x more enjoyable and I was way better. Nobody had to wait for me at the bottom AND I didn't come last! Score!

Next stop was the Waterslide. Anyone who has me on Facebook I'm sure has seen the video with the caption "when people ask me how my snowboarding is coming on..." and it's pretty accurate. Getting some serious speed then- BAMMM frontflip into the water with soggy boots and a very cold snowboard back to the chalet. At least I wasn't the only one to fall over....



More photos and videos to follow! 

Cringe of the day: We get on the Transarc bubble lift and we're chatting away then some of the other Are you a frog? So immediately I'm thinking what a strange question, like what? 1.) you can clearly hear me speaking English. 2.) why would you refer to yourselves as frogs? I don't do that, despite the FR/UK rivalry. 3.) What? 
guys in there (who are French) and they say to me:
So I reply with "no I'm English"...but of course, they were refering to me in my dinosaur onesi. Which I totally forgot I was wearing. D'oh. 





Thursday, 16 March 2017

16/03/17

16/03/17

So far this week has been a complete detox week (for me at least). Been chugging 3 mugs of Green Tea, been avoiding eating those cake mix bowls and been getting all my slow-release energy from porridge in the morning. Not touched a drop of alcohol in a week! New week, new me...untill I start getting back on it again on Sunday haha 

Shame I can't say the same for Louise. Me and Duncan (or Druncan) had to drunk snowboard her home from the Arpette; then shamefully call Archie for a lift when we missed the Lobster pots and had an hour wait till the bus. Worth it for the sunset snowboard home though! 

This weeks guests are nice, but man it's so quiet in the chalet without hearing K-CARAFE every 10 minutes. But my body is grateful for the break. 

Off to fancy dress snowboard today for our boy (and badass snowboard tutor) Adam's birthday. I can't wait to draw attention to my terrible self on the slopes... or not! 





Me, Louise and Jess pre-table dancing, I love! 


Us and drunken Duncan


Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Hoe-mance!

Shoutout to the girl keeping me sane (and making me more insane). Don't know how I would've coped with making so many beds, cleaning so many toilets and making boys run away from me without her.








Tuesday, 14 March 2017

14/03/17

Day 8 of boarding and I can finally go straight, and decided to go over some ramps. Didn't end as badly as I thought. Beginning to look more like one of them badass skateboarding dogs than a baby giraffe now. BOOM.


When in doubt blame the altitude

Funny things happen when you're up in the mountains; like how I could go from drinking a whole bottle of Disaronno to being drunk after one glass of wine. But as we all say here:
when in doubt; blame the altitude.

My toes have gotten really fat- blame the altitude.
I keep having nosebleeds...blame the altitude.
I haven't poo'd for DAYYYS/I'm really gassy...blame the altitude.
Oh..man..walking up... those ... stairs has...killed me.... -blame the altitude.
I think I'm pregna- wait what... blame the altitude 

Sunday, 12 March 2017

God bless this mess.

I don't even know what has happened this week, half through my own alcohol consumption, half becuase it's been another level of mental. Our guests went from being naked on the tables to waterboarding each other in Gregs in less than a week.

 "We will literally drink anything you put down in front of us"

...and they did. This even extended to bringing out desserts and putting a jug of cream on the table only to find the whole group chinning a glass each a few minutes later.

I haven't lost too many brain cells this week because I've learnt some wicked new games. Like the horseracing game where there was 7 chairs broken in the carnage of the cards, bets and the competition of the most impressive horse racing song (from pens in mouth to irish danging on the coffee table). Needless to say I'm going to miss the dinner time shananigans or being able to hear the chants from my room (6 flights and three doors away). EAT ITTTTT / WEAR ITTTT / K - CARAFE / WE HAVE A LINKKKKKKKKKKKKKK / LETS PLAY THE VEGETABLE GAME / COMANDER SAYS BIBLEBOPS / TEEEEEEEEEEEETH /

Aside from the severe liver damage I have ensured this week, from late night hot tub hangs, to needed helping up the stairs, to inviting us out and enduing us into a raclet cheese coma. We have maybe had our favourite week yet. At the very least, it's been entertaining and memorable and I miss them all already. This week calls for a complete detox though, now where did I put that green tea? 

We are the turnips looking for the kale.

Glasses/mugs/plates/wine bottles etc smashed by guests: 20 + 
Glasses/mugs/plates smashed by me: 5
Glasses/mugs/plates/a whole bottle of wine smashed by Louise: 3
Empty beer bottles NOT smashed by Louise when she fell over the coffee table: 4
Glasses/mugs/plates smashed by Joel and Archie: 0 
Plates fallen on my foot: 1
Litres of wine consumed: Too many
Litres of wine thrown up: Too many
Times I've had to clean up other peoples vom: 3
Chairs broken: 7
Beds broken: 1

Saturday, 11 March 2017

"if i play with my eyeballs too much they start to hurt"

-Louise
14.23
11/03/17

11/03/17

Inspired by this weeks guests we have our very own Megabed. Blessed.





11/03/17

If this doesn't summarize today's transfer day, I don't know what else will. 

Friday, 10 March 2017

"I just saw a dog jump off the chair, I swear it was a beagle"

-Louise 19.20 10/03/17

It was a bag of bread...

09/03/17

A quick couple of videos from snowboarding, ft. some gnarly falls.
This is after about 15 hours of slope time, so I can only get better, right?




"everytime you talk all I can hear is zimmy zimmmaahhhh, like you're not even using words just zimmy zimmahahhhhhhh"

-Louise
10.51am
10/03/17

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

08/03/17

Went for a little walk today before hitting the slopes. Need some fresh air for my dying body, so went up to the church.








08/03/17

So last week and this week couldn't be any more different. We had a 'boat race' (it's where you down your drinks, Nan) and played a game of celebrities with our guests. This week we have to come out for mid-service shots and slap them in the face with cheese.



In my last post I said about that guest who owed us a favor? Well we turned them into masterchefs and made the favor helping us with desserts and it went from just having Will helping us to having Ollie and Will helping us (and we got a cheeky cheeseboard from them too). Cheers guys, our heroes. Photos to follow.



So this week, I can't see anyone coming in the kitchen to help with any courses becuase they just come in the kitchen just to snort icing sugar off the sides (literally icing sugar, it's hilarious). Polishing off an impressive 30-40 bottles of wine a night between 21 of them, not even mad, just very, very impressed.

So of course, that amount of wine consumtion means that there are lots of drunk antics, I can't say I've ever been around so many naked people in my life...not even in the chalet; down our local too. Fully nude. Dancing on the tables. Dancing on the poles. Just. So. Much. Naked. It also means they chase Louise trying to get her teenage blood for eternal youth or something. It also means that I have to clean sick from THE WHOLE BATHROOM (how did they even manage that, like HOW?!). Not so much a drunk antic, bt they made a megabed too (5 beds pushed together) solid effort team.
Me and the bathroom of doom
A passed out guest and the Megabed

I feel like I'm Jordan in Wolf Of Wallstreet every time I have to tell them something, or doing my welcome speech.

So being with these bad influences means that y'know, maybe I can't handle my drink as well as I'd like to say (blame the altitude). Shoutout to my resort manager or walking me home after I died on Sunday night haha.

The only thing getting us through this week (apart from the mid-service shots) is listening to Natasha Bedingfield on repeat in the mornings. But you know what they say, if you can't beat them; join them.







Wednesday, 1 March 2017

The Good, The Bad and the Damn Right Painful

28/02/2017


An update from the alps!

The Good

After a somewhat rocky start to the season, for the chalet and our team, we've started to get on track. We're finishing by 11am in the mornings and 10pm at nights meaning prime time on the slopes or wasting time in the hot tub and sauna. We've been getting some great feedback from guests like 10/10 reviews which is amazing. It's wicked to get some comments like "Becca made our holiday" and "was the life of the chalet". So good news on the work front!

It has just started snowing which is great because it's not all the reassuring when you're skiing and you can see lumps of grass and the piste is a mogul field, so over the next few days we're expecting 120cm of snow, yaaaaaaas!

We also got free cheese on the slopes the other day.

(me at the free cheese place) 


The Bad

On the news of our great feedback we also got one saying "out of 40 ski holidays this was the 2nd worse"which I am horrified/slightly proud about from week one.

Me and Louise thought it would be a good idea to slide down a (not so) snowy hill as a shortcut, of course I got impaled by a stick resulting in my saladpets getting demolished and practically ripped in half. D'oh! (pictures to follow)

I can't really complain about our accom, we live in a bit room in the top of our chalet. I can't really complain about the wifi either because compared to most we have god wifi, but oh man this wifi is the bane of my life. So I see this ski jacket on ebay and I fall in love with it. Even better; there's a matching pair of saladpets. The best part is, with about 10 minutes left on the bidding, they're only $10 (inc P&P). So I manage to get these saladpets for $10, amazing. They're an obnoxious blue, purple starry black mess but go PERFECT with the jacket. So I go to bid on the jacket and oh, the wifi stops working. So not only do I get lumbered with these completely unmatchable saladpets I lose the bidding for a $5 ski jacket. RAGGEEEE.

Tuesday night is our night of freedom (day off on Wednesday, yasss) so we brought tickets to a commdy night  at our haunt, something new to do and hanging out with some friends. Perfect! But I should've known it was all going to go wrong when I had to YOLO taking off snow chains after realising that there wasn't any snow,but slippery, icey slush instead meaning that my wheels were going everywhere on this mountain side, my patience has gone but who knows where and I'm like I AM THIS CLOSE TO TURNING THIS CAR AROUND. From icey hillstarts and wheels giving way and sliding across the road and swearing at everyone/thing/opportunity we finally got there, only with blood pressure much higher than when we started. So naturally we stroll up to the door only to realise THE DOOR IS LOCKED. The door to the venue we were just on this 45 minute crusade up a mountain in a snowstorm through the ice IS LOCKED. So of course, if nothing else made me give up that did. We got in the van and left. Moral of the story: Don't be the driver in your chalet, the only perk is seeing the malamute in the mornings sometimes outside the hire shop.





The Damn Right Painful

This week the Pascale chalet team have taken up snowboarding. Similar to surfing, and wakeboarding (which I love but I will never pretend I am good at) so I was buzzing to get started, brought myself some protection and ready to hit the slopes (with my broken saladpets). So day 1 included a lot of falling. A lot of falling. But me and Louise, despite her constant threats of having a breakdown, made it down some red slopes and nailed this falling leave mumbo jumbo. Needless to say, it's been a while since my butt has been in this much pain. I am covered in bruises but I absolutely love it. Unlike skiing which I feel is more of a thing to do I really look forwards to getting out on my board, plus I just want to be 1000x better than Joel so I'm gonna put the hours in.

And The Hilarious Pear Incident 

So, once a week we do a poached pear in a red wine sauce with Brandy Snaps and cinnamon cream (sounds nice, right?). The taste? Delicious. The look? It's a tough one to make look appealing when a flaccid pear looks a little bit like...well...SOOOOO this week we have a big group of 7 people in their mid 20's (they're a great bunch, they got drunk and wanted an orange so we made them sign a contract for it and everything) and Louise is doing the weekly job of taking the desserts out whilst I plate up, I then hear a roar of laughter coming from the table and damn, this group were LOVING their pears. Not the taste though.We then get all 18 faces staring at the door with anticipation for the next one. Louise takes out a bowl and BOOM eruption of laughter. This went on for 18 desserts. And there's me in the kitchen trying to plate them up as nicely as I can through tears. Maybe it was one of those "you had to be there" moments but wow, never thought I'd see so many adults chucking away, unable to breathe, because of a poached pear. It makes me think that maybe I'm not adulting so bad after all..