Hola from Costa!

Hola Amigos!

Writing this one from Costa Del Sol. After catching my 8th flight from Gatwick this year I’ve landed in the south of Spain and ½ of Team Tenerife Best Rumor 2016.

                                                                      

First photo of the reunion!                                                           Bob The Bug ready for the adventure 

So far my holiday/adventure/gap life/expensive waste man days have been pretty sick! (and I’ve been pretty sick, keeping consistent I died on my first night, oops). Currently on day 4. And night 3/3 in the town. Cow’s told me that he’s a changed man this year and he doesn’t go out as much and blablabla so of course I’m trying my best to be a bad influence and it’s working. I’m a blessing and a curse.

First night kebab stop! 

I’ve been doing my favorite thing whilst I’ve been here: breaking into hotels and pretending I’m All Inclusive helloooo free bevvies! Gotta try work it off somehow though so I have been keenly involved in Aqua Fit and I haven’t been drowned once in Water Polo, obviously there was just more testosterone in Tenerife. Its proper weird being on the bikini-wearing-cocktail-drinking-oil-me-up-in-the-sun side of the hotel rather than the knee length shorts and baggy shirt side. Although I couldn’t resist doing a cheeky Jellyman at the poolside.

         My ugly feet                                                                  Avril  Lavigne hair

Yesterday we hopped on the bus to Gibraltar, bless, Cow was feeling a little bit ‘travel sick’ on the way there too. It’s a proper weird place, seeing a Debenhams whilst basically in Spain but only 23km from Africa isn’t something I’d expect. But we saw some monkeys, did some shopping, felt a bit sorry for our hungover selves, and had a fab day. 

 
Not sure how long I’m here for but so far so good.

Living the High Life in the High Lands!

So I have just returned from my 7th flight this year and (what I just realised) the most northern point I have ever been! And a wicked week away visiting some friends from around the word.

Only drank Irn Bru...that makes me Scottish now...right?

Since my last post of Scotland I have spent 1 night in EdinBurger, 1 night in Glasgow town, 3 night with my Tenerife #1 in East Kilbride and a night camping on a beach.

So after our cocktail-bag-in-the-garden fiasco we went back out into the city for a more...civilized evening of drinks....well you can guess how that turned out! Started off in a random bar where I got chatting to a girl from Cornal and it turns out she's one of my good mates from Tenerife's brother ex so she knows the whole family! Small world! Later we ended up in a beer garden and after making friends with a group of Army dudes (and getting some free bevvies) I bumped into one of my mates from my ski season, even smaller world!

So turns out he's on a stag do and invites me along. Not long after joining the group it gets explained that the Stag has been given dare cards and one of the dares earlier in the night was to swap clothes with the smallest member of the party...which was now me.

And I'm not one to turn down a challenge, so here we are! After a great night out in the town I really fancied some post-nightout grub. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAPITAL CITY THERE IS NOWHERE TO GET FOOD PAST 3AM WHAT IS THIS. So the next day I quickly disappeared to Glasgow where I knew I wouldn't be let down.

After getting dropped off in Glasgow and having a huge catch up with my Scottish sister Kirstyn we did what we do best by experiencing a new cities night culture. Catching the train into Glasgow Centre the night consisted of shots, rounds, more shots and making innocent bystanders do the worm and (poor John) trying to drag the bouncer out of the bar and over to Bistro for cheesy chips. Probably not his idea of a fun date. And would it really be a night out without having to walk Kirstyn home (even though it was just the short trip from the taxi to the front door).

God bless Glasgow and their easily accessible cheesy chips 

Cue massive hangout and hangover days.

After some well needed catch ups, loads of Simpsons Hit n Run, a BBQ and The Fart Game with Nichole it bought my time with the Scottish family to an end. 

A wee cheeky photo with my Scottish family! Best Girls Club 4eva

Next stop for us was over at Loch Lomand where (much to Louise's distaste) we decided to camp on the beach. And what a beaut it was. The photos really say more than I need to. Apart from Goblin's terrible attempt at Ghost Stories
"20 years ago on this exact beach" ..."So on this beach in the 1950's"...ummm?

 Queen of the campfire over here. W.I.P One Match Fire Starter 2k13 REPRESENT

 Our tent aka Fart Hot Box

Natures cool box

 

Massive thanks to the Smiths for having me stay and making me feel so welcome! 

There's not very many people who you can have out of your life for more than 6 months then as soon as you see each other you can easily pick up where you left off. Big up Kiki and Famz and their new education on what veggies eat haha!

Had a great time in my new favourite part of Britain. Until next time the Home of Irn Bru! 

A Wee Hello from Scotland!

From kicking off some traditional Scottish dancing to seeing some native Scottish Elephants we are fully embracing our (not actually very cold!) northern neighbors!

After a hella early flight and a classic quick pack a few hours before my flight I was up here just before 9am after being the only person on the flight not for business, dressed in practically pajamas. We decided to make the most of the day and did a safari trip! Unfortunately, much to mine and Louise's disappointment, no monkey attacked Goblins car. But we did almost get decapitated by a Vulture in the bird show.

Then we explored Edinburgh (or EdinBurger as Louise likes to call it) and this involved browsing every charity shop in human existence spending a days wage (so not very much) in Primark and chilling in the park under the castle and bullying our favourite pet.

A "sticky willy" according to our favourite Scotsman

We are sitting in the Goblin's garden with a currently cloudless drinking our now upgraded sacko (THIS IS NOT A DRILL COCKTAILS IN A BAG)  after a somewhat messy night in Edinburgh .

So last night the Goblin took us out to town where we indulged in dirty student bars and £1 shots and (maybe) one two many Absinthe's. Of course. 

Haggis Bomb - Irn Bru and Jager. A Scottish speciality (that nobody drinks) 

The party don't start till we walk in

But Edinburgh is a beaut place, and damn they have castles e v e r y w h e r e. We're going to try hit up Lochness later in the week for a wee roadtrip. But as for tomorrow I'm heading over to Glasgow to catch up with the girls from Tenerife for a few days.

You can read Goblin's blog from Scotland here, or follow his adventures here

Chapter 2 - Using every penny I own on seeing friends and holidays!

Tenerife April 2017

03/05/17

Have you really been on holiday if you haven't got horrifically sunburnt and so drunk you have to get walked home? Of course not! So we've been holidaying right, right????

If you don't visit the Chicken Shack and see Steve you've done Tenerife wrong. So hitting up the shack on our first night was a must. 

Almost a year to the date after I first landed in Tenerife and 3 months since last stepped foot in the Canaries I found myself back but this time with company from Louise! Everything is different from when I was last here, mostly the lack of my boys Josh and Danny and my girl Lauren. But apart from that, nothing changes and everything feels the same. Same old sunny beaches, same old pints of Cherry Bakewells and dodgy dancing down at P2. A bit of karaoke at Paddy's, a messy night in Las Americas and a surprise visit from our weeks host Curtie Wertie! (I owe ya one!)

A few highlights

-Louise getting bit by the worlds smallest dog.

-The Welsh Wizard Jamie eating a whole stick of Lipbalm because we told him to.

-Getting on stage with my boy Tony Kay and helping Gary Barlow sing some songs.  

-Racing against the clock to pick up Leo's mates from the airport but really just enjoying the roadtrip.

-Self inflicted Wine ban after polishing off 3 bottles on our first night and having to get walked home. But don't worry, Louise died on the 2nd night and Curtie on the 3rd.  Back on the Amaretto where my heart belongs!

Dead Curtie 

- Not the downfall of rain we had that trapped us in Green Corner

-Climbing up to the Spanish Flag with a flip-flop wearing, hella hungover Curtis.

-Being reunited with the true love of my life

Great to catch up with the Tenerife crew, till next time!

Boyband team

I don't no why I have so many straws in my hair

Laura, Angel, Ondy and Silvia. Animation Represent! 

Did someone say amaretto? 

Us (trying) to be more highend with some cocktails 

But back where we being necking pints of spirits 

Curtie Wertie being...well...Curtis.