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Uniform Swap!

 Emily being me at the party, complete with pinapple haircut and zinc

80's party! 

 When in doubt, dab it out. Hosier Lane edition

Pointing out a peeing Oli. Totally sober at this point.

 Optimus Prime and I 

Ship Life

There's a big deal with hierarchy here on ships. Firstly to do with stripes, how many you have (or don't) and their colour. Whether you can eat in the officer mess, staff or crew mess. So obviously you have to conduct yourself in certain ways around certain members of staff. There's staff who you can get away with being a bit cheeky with, and some you can't. It's funny because I can have a laugh and be cheeky with some really senior people on the ship cause they're not my department but when my engineer friends see me sitting on the lap of the senior 1st or cracking a joke with the staff captain they freak outs. Sometimes the kids on my activities definitely push the boundaries..not we me but sassing the Captain and co. is something that takes a fair bit of guts. So I'm on this one activity- The Bow Ladder- and Captain Alan (1) comes down to the front of the ship and is making some small talk with me and the kids. He goes to one of the girls "How's the view from up there?" she turns around and goes "Well, you should know because shouldn't you sit in the bridge and look at it all day?" SHOTS. FIRED.  Or the kid that sassed the Senior First Officer "I bet you're gutted you're not the Captain, you can't even drive the ship...."

Me and Pip impersonating officers at the Uniform Swap

TALKING OF DRIVING THE SHIP guess what idiot was allowed to drive the ship? This one. Right here. Well, I changed to degrees on the autopilot hahaha. More than most can say.
But since that monumental moment I have been taken way more seriously on board. First of all, I was assigned a pager. Which is quite a big deal. I'm a big deal guys. It means that when someone wants me they can get hold of me, usually it means I have to call them back on 3050(the bar) and meet up for a cheeky drink. Or it means the Bridge or the Engine page me in the mornings mocking my haircut and calling me a pineapple. And since then I've moved up in terms of the emergency drill. After doing our bomb drill the other week which resulted in me running around Deck 15 looking for

In the early hours looking for the damn pager somewhere in the room 

a piece of paper with "bomb" written on in a tropical storm... I've now been promoted from answering the phones in Passenger HQ to being given my very own Muster Station. That's right. I have been given a muster station with a good couple of hundred people in and a microphone to keep them informed (and entertained). It's made me have a bit of a name for myself amoung passengers and a topic of conversation for the rest of the cruise. Here are a few of the comments I've received and overheard....
"It was a tough crowd, wasn't it?"
"I appreciated the snowman joke at least"
"Muster Station A was so boring." " You should've bee in Muster Station C, it was well fun!"
"OMG that's the lady with the life jacket"
"Will this girl shut the fuck up already?"

Drills are taken very seriously on board. They brought out the MES (Marine Evacutation System) for some training and needed volunteers to test it out. The Edge were willing to take one for the team and be the dummies. As you can see, we also took it very seriously. All I can say is I hope she ship never sinks because I kept turning upside down in the massive tube. Although, it was really fun so there is a silver lining.

Me and Oli working hard by taking selfies

Obviously you've all gathered I spend 40% of my time working, 20% of my time sleeping 10% of my time eating and the rest is down the Bar. Well, there's obviously not much to do so I've taken up a hobby of playing Foosball. With my Portuguese Fitter friends teaching me the basics the Edge Team have got quite fierce at it now, even resulting in a massive dent in the ceiling (sorry, not sorry). Well in this weeks tournament me and Kayleigh teamed up and even made it into the final where we lost (the game and out on the $100 prize) by just one goal. We should've brought in our cheeky Edge 3D tactic (picking up the table and making the ball go in that way). Second place aint too shabby though, and we put the boys out in the first round which added the cherry to the top of the cake.

Actual Edge 3D

As I said 40% of my time is working, and

Trying to be good at foosball

when anyone spends this much of their time doing something you should enjoy it. Lucky for me I love i, I get to go to some cool laces, hang with some cool people (quite literally), be out in the sun all day and have a generally, all round good time. Of course, I always behave myself in work. Kayleigh says "Don't ride the segway around the bridge..." of course I didn't...but that doesn't mean I didn't try.Or if a radio goes off "Becca to Kayleigh."
"Kayleigh copy"
"Can I go down the zipline?"
"No"
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM and WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe off I go. Big love K dawg!

It's not all fun and games though (I lied, it is) sometimes you do get those arsehole customers. It always happens to be some middle aged man trying to throw around his high testosterone levels and argue about a bloody zip line. So this fella comes over and flat out refuses to fill in his indemnity form so I'm like mate, you gotta do it or I can't book you on and he starts throwing around the old I'M A LAWYER. I AM NOT FILLING THAT IN. And I'm like well mate, I'm an outdoor instructor and it's my job to get this filled in. So eventually he fills it in, demands I counter sign it but I'm like naa mate you haven't filled in your address, therefore it's incomplete and so I can't sign it. After a few heated words I'm like mate, fill it in or get out of the line cause there's a whole bunch of kids behind you waiting to book on. "YOU are going to find out MY address FILL IT IN YOURSELF then FIND M AND TELL ME I'VE BOOKED IN". Well sir, excuse me whilst I wipe your spit off of my face, and no that definitely isn't going to happen. I have better things to do than to chase you round the ship. So he rips up the paper in front of me. Gutted mate.

We do get some dumb people man. Like yesterday some lady is like "They've just called ticket Blue 3 and 4, is that me? I'm blue 13?" LADY WHAT DO YOU THINK.
"My son is here for the zipline, can you put him down now?" Whilst standing at the bottom of the tower without a harness or any equipment. Hun, do you want me to shit out a helmet right here right now? Can  you SEE any equipment? Go get your harness from the shop LIKE WE ALREADY TOLD YOU.

Living on the ship can be limiting in a lot of ways. Dodgy internet, not your usual food, access to daily things you take for granted like if you run out of shampoo on Sunday you have to wait until Saturday to hopefully find a supermarket. Some people do make a living out of it though. Like the noodle mafia. As I've said previously you can only eat in certain places at certain times and if you miss these times then too bad so sad, wait until next meal time. That's where the noodle mafia come in. The secret society who have contraband kettles in their cabins and cook up a batch of noodles on demand. Especially good if you miss the 2-3am mess. We also had Dial-a-Toastie. The Security Coordinator noticed a group of lads kept bringing on an unusual amount of bread onto the ship, like why would people wan that much? Upon further investigation they found toastie machines in their room (which is a fire and environmental risk blablabla) so dial-a-toastie is n longer a thing, unfortunate. But now they've been disbanded and rumor has it the captain is now the proud owner of a toastie machine.

Like I said you do start to miss the free world being on board the ship. Simple things; riding a bike, having natural light in your bedroom,petting random cats in the street (and adopting them), filling your random-time-toast-craving. But I have opted to extend my contract by a short time over Christmas and new year. It'll be strange working on Xmas day but I thought unselfishly that I didn't want to let the team down by leaving right before the busiest cruise of the year and having a new person have to learn the job, make friends and get over jetlag on hat time of year. Plus, we go Fiji. So rather than finishing in just 3 three weeks I'm now here until January at some point. Which means more opportunity for falling asleep in crew bar, having chair and floor naps for when it's too short to climb into bed, sneaking out to the crew pool after hour to look at the stars, or heading up to our trampoline on deck 15 to watch a film on the big screen, eating a burrito a day and committing complete carbocide.

"I think the alcohol in my mouthwash has pushed me over the Edge"
- Kayleigh 8.22am 19/11/17

And I keep cruising

ANNNNNDDD IM BACK!

After a long (and unwilling) break from the blog I'm back with an update and a few snaps from the Cruising days. My tablet decided to jump off the top bunk midsleep and (not only scare but bottom bunk mate Abi T half to death) but break. So it is currently en route back to England for the, ahem, small cost of $60. Cheers Australia Post. BUT for now I'm borrowing Will from the Bridge's laptop to bring you a much needed update about probs my favourite time from the Dawn, which is also the reason I haven't been writing or going to the gym very much because I've been too busy having fun and spending all my wages on $2 Strongbows down the Crew Bar.

"Ship life"... what a saying. It's the same that went for "blaming the altitude" on my ski season. You behavior just changes so dramatically from "the real world". But it does result in some great stories.
People are always coming and going on board, just as you say goodbye to some really good friends (like my MexieBestie Jesus) you make some new ones.

Me and me hombre Jesus






So we had a little cabin party squad going for a few weeks, me and some of the deck, engine and electrical department. And it all went downhill (or uphill!) after introducing the team to my favourite game- Odds On. Which has resulted in some funny stories, Dan being made to ask a stripper for a wifi password, Will being made to run round the bar with his socks on his ears pretending to be Dobby and being made to attempt to kiss the head doctor. When not doing the risky run between cabins, pinballing down the M1, trying not to get caugh out by Medical because your hand has been cut open by a Corona bottle (sorry Liam) we did have a right laugh. But for now the boys are all finishing up their contracts and this week we're saying our goodbyes.

some of the party squad this halloween

 

"come to Australia, it's lovely and warm and sunny" 

A few parties we've indulged in, I'm sure the photo's say it all. They don't mention my Dance Offs with the Indian Galley Staff and Philippiano Tech Team, floor bundles, attempts in Crowd Surfing or the rest. But I'm sure everyone who knows me can fill in the blanks because I certainly can't.

Our most recent venture out is hands down one of my favourite because it finally brought us back to the real world. For the Melbourne Cup 3/5 of the P&O Australia ships docked in Melbourne for the horse racing. 2000 crew + a night off (x Alcohol) = one amazing night. After getting lost in the Casino for hours, hitting a security guard with my jacket because I was swinging it around my head- climbing on a truck because i thought it was Optimus Prime, earning drinks via The Worm (cause who has $20 to spend on a cocktail?!) and getting my Hungry Jacks at the end of the night. It was a well deserved break. I mean, it was no Ali Baba Kebabs but beggars can't be choosers, eh?
But we almost didn't make it to the City. But when I say we, I really mean Oli after he tried to use my WHITE DRESS to mop up our spilt drinks. Lucky escape Mr Harding on this occasion

The team pre-Casino

Repping the zinc and spontaneous glitter fights in the shop

Sometimes us in the Edge team do like to try to dress to impress when we eventually run the Zinc off our faces, jump out of our shorts and sunnies and into something a bit more "Cruise ship friendly". Then all the Deck and Engine departments realise you're actually a girl (and maybe not a lesbian) the drinks come flying in! (Apart from the Italian Bridge Officer who has it in for me after I rejected his advances and kicks me off the bridge)
So cue us going out for the evening to the Salt Grill aka, the fancy restaurant on the ship. Dressed all fancy so the whole ship doesn't recognise us, yet they can still hear us after we polished off a good couple of bottles of wine and then showed up at the White Party in no-so-white attire. Ooops!

scrubbing up nicely

The Captain
So it's nearing the end of my contract now and I have still yet to see a single piece of Eggy Bread, although one of the officers from the Bridge who I was telling my tale-of-woe to tried bringing me some french toast which is obviously different from eggy bread; but it's the thought that counts. But Captain Alan has gone now and been replaced by new Captain Alan! But that wasn't before a few run ins with him.
So the first time I met Captain Alan (1) was on my induction back in the first week of July where he infamously said "I want to be here as much as all of you do... not very much so let's get this over with and maybe even try to enjoy it" and since then I haven;t seen the captain for over two months until one day I'm walking through the crew dungeons and I see an officer I don't recognize so I'm like "alright mate!" and then I hear the voice from the midday "8 bells and all is well" announcement that happens everyday at 12pm and shit myself because I've just said "alright mate" to the bloody captain. But the anecdotes don't get any better from there because encounter number 2 was opening the cabin door at 7am after a cabin party with one of the other attendees only to find the Captain is standing straight outside and totally catches you off guard but you play it cool (because obviously you can't admit you've just finished the party and you're going to crew mess and they're going to work whilst everyone else gets some beauty sleep). And, phew, he hasn't noticed UNTIL you get halfway down the M1 to hear "THE WALK OF SHAMEEEEEE!" being bellowed down the central hub of the ship by THE BLOODY CAPTAIN. Never had my face burn so red in my life and made a faster pace walk away from a scene.

"the office" literally...

My last encounter with Captain Alan, until he comes back again at the end of the month, was down at the Crew Pool. There's 715 crew on board the ship, so who is the person you least expect and want to share the crew pool with? Captain. But of course, I acknowledged him mid-entrance to the swimming pool in my bikini "oh hi Captain...I bet you're gutted you're stuck down here with me and not a spa girl". But in the flow of conversation I dropped that I was from Crawley and all became apparent to him, being from Southampton himself.

It seems apparent that I'm unable to make a normal conversation with someone with 4 stipes and a sun on their shoulder. New Captain Alan comes on board, and in the spirit of the Uniform Swap party I thought it'd be worth a shot. The answer was a no, but you never know unless you give it a go!



And that brings a swift end to my wifi for the week, but hopefully I'll get some more written and posted for next turnaround day!

Quotes of the week: 

"My hairs not actually wet, I'm just cold" - Kayleigh 9/11/17 9.07pm Blwing herself with a hairdryer

"Do you think if I put a strobe light in my room it'll set off the smoke alarm?" -Oli 5/11/17 10.26pm

A few snaps!

En route to the Lifou Caves 

Enjoy a few snaps from our most recent trip to Lifou!

tanning up at Airlie Beach

S00o0o0o what updates can I give, aside from the obvious coralation between how good the anecdotes are and my alcohol intake? This week has been one of my best ones, out of work. In work, not. Not that that means it's been bad, cause I love my job so anything less than 90% is a bad week!

Last week the accomdation team hosted a party (in the laundry room on deck 1!) whih was a great crack, feed booze, free pizza, drinking games and decorations to mke some deecent headgear out of.
Then this week was back-t-back celebrations with it being Indonisian and Indian indepence day. (not that I ever need an xcuse to hit up Kilo staircase)  It would be disrepectful to not enjoy a bevvie, a dance, a drink (a 3am crew mess, crowdsurf, a all off a chair which i keep being reminded of too, and a pair of lost shoes)  with my fellow crew members! Seeing Oli trying to blend in on the dance floor with his "dancing" was a personal highlight.

In work, passangers this week have been a n n o y i n g, just a bit rude as well (not all, had some real sweet kids who have offered me to stay with them in tassie!). So this geeza has this promo card which allows him 3 free actitives with us. The advertised ones we can't provide as we're by far the busiest Edge team and it's physically impossible, we offer more expensive and unique ones as a substitue. I tell matey boy- call him Bruce- that is is the situation and thanks for the understanding yaddayaddayadda. Next day he comes over and asks again- I'm liken mattteeee- swear I met you yesterday but whatever and I give him the shpeil again. He then points at me and is like NO. NO. NO. (GEEZA WHAT. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO??) THESE ARE THE ACTIVITES I WANT AND THEYRE THE ONES IM GETTING. So I calmly and politely explain the reasons why we can no longer provide those experiences and it's in our T&C'sthat we can substitute if unable to provide- he calls me a liar but I'm smart so it's like "I'm sorry youre upset sir, however please read between these brackets just here. Thanks :) :) :) ) So he replies THIS IS UNACCEDPTABLE IM GOING TO COMPLAIN TO THE CAPTAIN. Okay mate haha cause Alan aint got anything better to do that deal with you. "Okay sir, you might have more luck complaining to reception but my name is Becca :) :) :) :)

Days off this week haven't been too bad, apart from missing my weekly pizza TWICE IN A ROW from Dominoes. We've hit some quite rough weather this cruise with Decks 14&15 completely closed leaving us with nothing to do other than enjoying the DJ, eating ice cream and doing some safety checks. Lifou last week was spot on, me Emily and Jess who work in the shops went to some caves and had the whole place to ourselves that was pretty rad. I'll try get some videos for you (nobody ever has internet so chasing up other peoples stuff takes ages). Heading there again tomrorow for some more shananagans.

This week I have been CRAVING eggy bread. Not a big demand by anyones means, and I've been trying to think of a way I can get some without breaking quarentine or trespassing into the galley...so they only reasonable solution would be to sleep with the Captain, which is something I would consider for that fried goodness. Imagine, youre in bed and then 4am -phone rings- and it's the captain demanding Eggy Bread- you can't exactly tell him to do one, can ya? HOWEVER upon discussing this with one of my mates from the Bridge it turns out that all I need to do is to smooth talk them and they can order room service to the Bridge. But I will keep you posted on the Eggy Bread Sega.

Dodgy bus rides in Port Villa 

 half enjoying the sunny skies
boss baby

06/08/17

Soooo a few things have happened in the past couple weeks since my last post. Nothing too interesting as ship life can sometimes be a little on the boring side (lack of alcohol, abundance of rules, cabin fever etc). Crew bar has been the good old crew bar, nothing but foosball, the jukebox and some terrible dancing. Same old antics (trying to order Grill at 3am, defacing each other with sharpies, TERRIBLE singing of Bohemiam Rhapsody, Bundles etc).  I decided to spice my life up by 0.05% and get a spontaneous ear piercing in Airlie Beach a few days back.

Work has been great, the usual, working with kids... having them wet themselves in their harness'... throwing up on instructors when they're at the top of the Flying Fox (massive zipline), or at the Titanic Experience (which we have just had our 4th proposal on, and our 4th "yes!". Standard. We also got even closer to those Whales on the last cruise, a mother and baby breaching about 50m away from me when I was at the front of the ship. I can't complain too much about my office when I get to see things like that everyday. Here's picture I've stolen from Oli's facebook. I'm quite lucky to say I've had very few bad office's.

So after a few (somewhat heated) emails to our shoreside team it has been confirmed that I am staying on the Dawn rather than the original (and preferred) plan to get back on the Jewel with my homeboy James. I'd be lying if I said that I was chuffed with the choice, but with nothing I can do I've decided to do what I always do and embrace it. It's a shame because it means I'm stuck doing the same to Lifou, Port Villa and Noumare; Airlie Beach and Port Douglas when I should be going to Fiji, New Zealand, all the Pacific Islands and more. But they always say it's the people you meet who make the experience worth while so for the moment they're stuck with me and that's okay becuase the crew here are great. It also means a few pennies in the pocket for when I set off travelling later in the year.

wreck in Port Vila from a cyclone a few years ago

I'm also here to do a job, which is great because I love it and  after kinda bumming around this winter (y'know lounging around on beaches in Tenerife and bombing it down on the slopes) it's refreshing to have a job I actually care about. We have this motivational incentive called Proud and we have cards that guests fill out at the end of their trip if they want to and I'm making a small collection of those. But not only once, but twice on the last cruise (only 4 days up to Airlie Beach andd back!) I had two young girls, Eliah and Jessie, from seperate families tell me that because of me when they're older they want to do what I do. I forget that working with kids, even for such a short time, can impact their lives so much. I still remember meeting instructors and animators when I was on camps and holidays and the impact they had on me to make me live the life I have now. And even though in a years time they'll probably forget my name and my face it's wicked to know that there's been a seed planted in their brain to stray from the conventional lifestyle of -Education-Work-Marriage-House-Kids-Retire- (which obviously something I strongly DO NOT belive in). And to have parents telling me that "you're all the kids keep talking about!" which is something I haven't heard since the days of the Holiday Village when I was known as Crazy B.

 before a cheeky 3am grill

 

Stephan's last night 

 crew at crew bar

beach partyy

~A few snaps from Port Villa~

got enough fruit?

lunch time with the locals

cooking mama