Sun, Sea, and Stepping in Shit with No Shoes: Welcome Back To Paradise

Koh Rong! The floating mass of land that concurred my heart a few years ago. Drifting through the sea with bioluminescent specs of plankton, spending my days in the treetops with the echoes of the flourishing jungle and with the nights I can't remember; but certainly won't forget. Two years after I first stepped foot here and I have fully embraced the sand between my toes and the salt settling on my scalp once again.

This year's circumstances have slightly altered things for me, the most immediate change being that I intended to stay on the island for just a few weeks, and by the looks of it, I'm going to be sticking around for the foreseeable future...again.

After being split-down-the-middle with my options to return or to stick out the pandemic in the safety, security and comfort of Battambang... it's easy to say I made the right decision on my return. As soon as I climbed in the boat I had flashbacks of two years ago doing the same journey. The only differences were that the boat was much more full then, we weren't preparing for the pending apocalypse..and I had a beer back then.

I've been splitting my time between my family here and the abandoned (and appropriately titled) "Coconut Beach" sleeping in my hammock, in a beach shack. Aside from a couple of locals at the end of the beach, my friends here are the only people left on the beach, so we're part of a tiny percentage of the world that can still enjoy some social time. Playing volleyball, and sharing stories over coffee.

As well as plenty of seafood, there's not much chance of anyone going hungry here when there's so many wild pineapples, jackfruit, coconuts, cashews, and mangos... Just to name a few. I've even made my own (worlds first?) recipe for Pulled Cashew Apple.



I'm finding it difficult to believe how much I was questioning it. In what world would you rather learn the words for "traffic" "road" "I live here, I'm not travelling and I don't have corona" when I already know the words for "sand" "sea" "there's a chicken in the kitchen".

We've made a swear jar " Don't Moan(a) or Mention C*rona ". I'm personally trying not to think too much about it or read anything other than essential and direct news. But I am spending a lot of time thinking about my family and friends at the time. My grandparents, my cousins who are expecting the newest additions to the family (and their first babies!), friends and family who have lost their jobs. I'm in a very lucky position to say that I'm surrounded by exceptionally strong and people and we will all get through this.
 
That's not to say it's all rainbows and sunshine here; as the title of this post suggests. THAT anecdote is pretty self-explanatory. I should also point out that my body is like a human dot-to-dot with all these mosquito and sandfly bites, a 2-meter king cobra was found about a two-minute walk from my house this week...and I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in two weeks. Alas, for now, I'm trying to look on the bright side. Keeping away from the doom-and-gloom of the internet, the monotonous moans of social media and getting back to basics to appreciate the little things in life...like how everyone has finally stopped talking about Brexit.

Cambodia, Cancelled Classes and Corona

There's this little thing happening at the moment, dunno if any of you have heard about it...? Corona Virus? 

Anyone who knows me will know how cynical I am of the media, and how much I frankly haven't given a sh*t about this Corona Virus. But now it is what it is, it's impossible to not talk about. So what is the update with me? Not a lot really. My plans haven't changed too much, still avoiding the 40+ heat, still doing yoga and Zumba, still leaving Battambang this weekend and cycling to Phnom Pehn to head to the islands. 

 

My visa is valid until May here, and the border with Laos is still open (for now) so I'll be going there in May. I can get a 90-day extension and bounce between here and there. Hopefully, by then it's all blown over and we can all carry on with our lives and stop stockpiling toilet paper and talking about how awful Boris Johnson is. 

FUNNY THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED RECENTLY: 

• I had my first parent/teacher night. We have a translator because I'm sure I could get by with "you child he good, write good, speak good, but naughty. ABC make me happy" but not sure how much they'd appreciate my Khmer. SO ANYWAY got one parent and I'm like hey, your daughter is amazing, best in class, speaks perfect, keep her on the right track! only for me to give him her paperwork and him to say "this isn't my daughter" and she is actually one of the slowest in the class...oops. 

• Hearing that drawing a tiger on your neck will scare away the mice in your body if you have mumps.

• Having to deescalate a guy who was getting very passionate about the CIA following him. Then explain that an ESL teacher in Cambodia who speaks Khmer is not the perfect cover for a CIA agent (and if I was I ain't gonna be hanging out in a hostel following his boring ass). 

Till next time, spending this tough time in Cambodia isn't the worst place to be. Sending out the posi vibes to all my famalams and friends who care to check here now my life isn't so exciting anymore haha

Bettering myself in Battambang

How are things? 

They're good...if you ignore that I got left in a bomb zone a couple days ago and the apparent apocalypse of Corona that is heading our way... I'm doing great! 
 
I'm still attempting to touch my toes and find mindfulness with yoga classes twice a week...still drinking 2L of water a day (sometimes even infused with cucumber, get me) still working on my Rubix cube solving times. It's a slow life, that I'm not quite ready for just yet- but it's nice.

School is good, although it can be challenging at times, also hella fun especially your kids are calling each other crazy, or that they stink of shit...or they're saying it to me and I get to tell them to shut up and that I understand (all in Khmer, the Cambodian language)..

My adult class is fun, although this is a challenge this week as we start our new topic of "Future Technology" when we're in a country where my housemate asks if my Grandma's hip replacement is "magic" because it sounds so futuristic conversations like this happen:

Chit (my housemate): My sister just told me a lady in my village is having a baby now, so she had to run and get the old lady for her.
 Me: Old Lady?????????
Chit: Yeah, the old lady who helps the baby come out
Me: ????????????? ....... the midwife?
Chit: What's that?? You just get the oldest lady in the village because she's had the most children and seen the most babies so she helps

another conversation we've been having in class about medical advances 

Me: Okay, so what would you have done if you broke your arm 100 years ago?
Class: ????? I don't know, the same as we did 20 years ago? The same as people do in the countryside now??? 
Classmate 1: You rub a baby chicken on it and plants and put it in bamboo? 
Classmate 2: No, it's not a dead baby chicken, I had fried leeches and plants and ginger and then bamboo? But now, I'd just go to the hospital.  

so trying to explain even Dolly the sheep is a little bit mind-blowing for some of my students (who are also Monks...). But hey- if it's not a challenge it's not exciting. Right??

They've been doing some work on excavating the river bank to do some beautification in my town and after the civil war here in the 70's they've been finding dozens of unexploded bombs and grenades. So I'm in class doing some homework and I finish a couple hours late, so I pass through reception and there's nobody there? I go outside and there are no cars?? But there is the Army and bomb disposal squad, so the whole road has been shut off and I'm there like lol what. So yeah, had a front-row view of the detonation.

Only a couple weeks left in this sleepy town now before I'm back to the Rong where I belong, and coming up with my plan B now as China is looking off the table.

2020: The Future is Bright (Especially Now That I`m Teaching Them)

SPOILER ALERT:
The title is a bit of a giveaway...so I`m a teacher now! A bit of filling in on the past six weeks or so and how I`ve ended up here.

obviously im cultured, you dont know a country until you`ve tried their beer... and fell asleep with it....

Thailand December 

Thailand saw me spending a few days by myself on Koh Mak, an island just off the central west coast of Thailand. In 2018 I visited the neighbouring island of Koh Change (Elephant Island) and this time I wanted to style down to an island I could walk around, and happily camp on.

Here`s a little picture of my set up. I found a little space slightly off the path:
A few days, a few books, some swimming, sunbathing, bike rides.

I had been given the warning of snakes on the island, which I ignored...until someone mentions that a 10ft python had been found very recently...so that night I went to sleep expecting a full on Harry Potter Basilisk attack...when my real fear should`ve been the positioning of my hammock under two palm trees and the whole coconuts-kill-more-people-a-year-than-sharks...

Sri Lanka December 

After promising to visit my two friends from my cruise ship days, over two years later I finally made it! I ended up staying with my friend Stephan and his Mum just outside of Colombo. Sri Lanka saw me filling my body full of samosas, kotthu roti, curry and other short eats. I think it`s fair to say that the food was incredible!

The country is beautiful and the people are so friendly...some are maybe a little bit too friendly. Getting dryhumped on a rush hour train in the 35° heat aint my idea of a good time, and as for the butt grabbing? My sharp tongue was enough to put an end to that. After a month in SL I had a great time, but it didn`t have my heart like Cambodia does...so back I came.

Cambodia (again)January 

Good timing with flights saw a catch up with my friend Alliey from Tenerife at a Mitchlin star restaurant in Bangkok (that cost about a quid for a meal!). Then plans to return to Koh Rong have been temporarily put on hold as I take to the classroom to teach some English. 

Happy new year anyone who still reads this! Big plans for 2020 involving two wheels and over 10,000km so this should be getting more regular updates and a bit more exciting soon. 

The Temples of Angkorwat

 

Bantaey Chhmar: Exploring Ancient Ruins by Night

Unexpected exploring by torchlight

One of the last views by Sunset