Tropical Island Paradise: what could possibly Koh Rong?

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After leaving the comfort of the known the leisure of sleeping in a hammock next to the riverside of Kampot and a swift pass through of the neighbouring town of Kep- doing some urban exploring of the 1970's villas still abandoned from the Khmer Rouge Era; I decided to find some sanctuary and have some fun in the southern islands.

"We sorry, 2pm and 3pm sold out. You go at 5pm" the ticket office informed me and looking at the conditions of  the sea that should've been an indication to keep travelling the mainland. But nope, managed to find another company and squeeze myself into the 3pm. I choose the window seat, which for some reason I thought would be the best option. 3 minutes and no seats left I realised it wasn't as I was greeted by my 5th salty splash to the face (wheeyyy) (sorry dad)
So after arriving to the Island I checked in at the reasonably priced "$5 dorm and a free beer" welding hostel. By this time is maybe 5.30pm, I only mention the time because of the red headed, glitter donning American girl behind the bar was visibly obliterated. "you want a joss shot* for $1?"
Anyone who knows me well know I can't turn down the offer of that 4 letter word. And so it began.

Checked into my dorm which was Same old same old and boasted the line "Frankie fucked here" and "whore $quad on tour" scrawled into the back of the door. The joys of budget travelling.

The problem with drinking (not the hangover, blackouts, need to vommit or unstoppable urge to talk an eternity of shit) is when you've had a few and youre in a small place like this is that the next day everyone talks to you and you have no idea if they're just Being friendly, staying in your dorm, you met them at that banana rave 10 weeks ago in Pai or if they'd given you a piggy back through the jungle at 3am. All are possibilities and this might proved to be one of those because the next day everyone was my friend.

The joss shots rolled in, and so did the beer (and God bless the drunk redhead because my total tab came to $1) and then "spin the wheel" where I was lucky enough to a free cocktail rather than a bartender tattoo... (and judging by the bartenders you'd get something quite the opposite of whatever was originally intended) but as I happily explained to the bar team-would you really trust a bar where the bartenders didn't drink their own drinks? I wouldnt. And if you can't beat em- join em and get me another joss.


The venue for the night was Nest hostel got their weekly party Nestival. It's a 30 minute trek through the jungle to get there, or a short trip away by boat. Seeing that none of us could drive a boat (let alone SHOULD Drive a boat in our state) we decided that 'borrowing' a friend of a friend's boat would be a great idea...
So we all climb in, some more successfully than others, and we set off. After we've hit about 500m out karma hit us like we'd been hitting back those joss shots. The boat ran out of petrol. So picture this. 10 paraletic backpackers with a hole in the boat and two buckets to throw the water out (or to attempt to paddle back depending who had hold of them). Successfully stranded we contemplated swimming back, paddling the boat back, or just waiting it out until we could get rescued on the morning. We opted for the latter which in turn proved to be the best option (of course it was(!) would've taken the same amount if time but far more energy for the first two) after maybe 10 minutes or maybe 90 minutes, of screaming B*witched the boat started working again and we made haste for dry land. Upon reaching shore which I'm positive we clambered onto like we'd just survived a pirate Shipwreck, we realised we were probably a total of 300 meters from where we began. So we started the now 29 minute trek through the jungle to the party.

I can happily say my Kay night of drinking went out with a bang because the next day I started my course of antibiotics to treat a small infected cut on my foot. I have officially enrolled in the sock squad and joined the other 20%of the island doing the same. Now not only do I have to sacrifice swimming, trekking and an even foot tan - I couldn't drink for 3 days. T H R E E  D A Y S. Normally not a problem but when one is stuck on a party island where that is all there is to do I was stuck with a whole load of nothing to do. Until yesterday where I was offered a position in a High Ropes course just a short walk into the 99%of jungle that covers the island. And I snapped up the position faster than someone can say 'Theres even a Foosball table"

It's not very often you start a job and some of the key advice you receive is "yeah, watchOut for the monkeys they can be arseholes. Maybe carry a slingshot or water gun or something " so there we have it. Lasertag queen 2014, crocodile wrestler 2015, poo patrol poolside 2016, badass pirate monkey 2017, monkey tamer 2018. And that's my CV. Anyone wanna hire me?

*joss is an energy powder, like pre-workout or lucozade energy but it's banned in England, Australia, Europe etc. God bless Asia and their lack in food safety standards.

****Severe lack of updates (and a severe lack of computers in my life) but I've got them all written but not the chance to type so enjoy the unchronological order of the next few posts. Hopefully I can get a few photos up but I'm fearing the worst as I think my memory cards are corrupted.