HOW THE BLOODY HELL IS IT ALREADY DECEMEBER?

- the thought ripping through almost everybody’s minds…

…and what an exciting last month it’s been in my soul-home of Asia. Now I’ve got a lot to get typing about; and now it’s my first time with keyboard access in a good few weeks so typing as fast as I can (because it’s 20bht an hour to use the computer).

 

CHAPTER 1 WELCOME TO ASIA

After what can only be described as a bizarre year (watching old ladies get their butts wiped to cooking pizzas in Cornwall) I had my sights set on a one-way ticket back to South East Asia. This time I had a bucketlist checkpoint- to cycle across a country.

A few years ago on my ski season I met a lad who decided to cycle home from the Alps and that was my first hit of inspiration. Since then I’ve met a handful of people who have done cycletouring/ bikepacking and it’s been up there on my Life To Do list. Earlier in the year I planned to cycle. Originally it was the whole of Europe but I was afraid I set the target too high so I downsized to a country. Then fast forward to the spring, a plate and six screws in my leg and three months of being unable to walk I thought;

“Maybe 2019 isn’t the year for this”

But less 6 months after my accident I landed in Thailand and with 2,000 Thai Baht (about 50 quid) in my pocket and the desire for an adventure. So I picked up a bike for 1,500 and off I went.

Now when I say I picked up a bike, it wasn’t exactly what you’d expect one to look like for such an ambitious journey. A big-childs bike, with no gears, a basket on the front, bright blue with a hotwheels styled “speed” sticker on it. But hey- it was just right for me.

CHAPTER 2 I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE

 In the 30 degree heat of the polluted Bangkok I set off for Day 1, using the cities waterways to navigate myself to the road out. Little did I know at the time, this would be my worst day of my journey because the best was yet to come. Humidity, jet lag, under-construction roads, highway traffic were a few of my obstacles. Finding camp in an abandoned building on the side of the road in my hammock I hoped a few things;

• I hope this building doesn’t have asbestos
• I hope the ceiling that could possibly have asbestos doesn’t fall through in the middle of the night
• I hope the dead pigeon upstairs doesn’t haunt me

and after a whole day of cycling and with only 45km under my belt I realized I really did have my work cut out for me. I decided I’d be setting off at sunrise for…

Day 2! 

The further out of the city I got, and the less English alphabet I saw- the better it got. Less factories and more fields. Always having words of encouragement shouted by passing cars too

“GO BABY GO!”

and three declarations of

“I LOVE YOU”

I decided my way of telling when I was finished was when the sun was gone. So I set up a plan. I would cycle until 5.30pm then I’d look for the best suitable place to sleep the night. By 5.45pm if I hadn’t found anywhere I’d settle for ANY PLACE. Ready for 6pm darkness. Day 2 saw me hitting 70km and I found my refuge in a bus shelter UNTILLLLLL a teacher from a nearby school and his daughter asked if I was waiting for a bus because they’d all finished. I explained my situation and he offered me to sleep in the school that night. A shower, air conditioning, even wifi- count me in!

Day 3! 

My teacher friend offered to drop me back to my end point for yesterday so I could continue my journey. He warned me that I was coming up to a national park-
“There’s lot of elephants there, they can be angry…so cycle fast” Wise words of advice.
As I approached Koao Ang Rue Nai Wildlife Park the Elephant signs because more visual. The park was only 20km- so roughly 2 hours to get through. No problem! Until a park ranger picked me up and explained it’s not safe to cycle and gave me a lift through… thank god for that because later that day I was shown a photo (from about an hour after I left) on a huge dada elephant sitting on a car that made Thai news. Yikes.

I decided to stop for a bite to eat with just an hour to go until Sunset. A local lady, Nat, offered me to stay at her place with her family. I cannot believe the hospitality that I was offered as a stranger. Nat then showed me around her hometown, took me to her temple, and played tour guide. I wish I had more than 200bht left to offer her family for their hospitality. We’re still talking on Facebook, more than a month later!

Day 4!

After being shown around by Nat my departure time was about 1pm. In the midday sun- and a belly full of Pad Thai I only managed about 20km before I met a woman who was also cycling. She came up next to me and asked where I was going and if I wanted to stop for a drink and if I needed somewhere to stay that night. I was grateful for the rest, company (and the Samsong Rhum). Luckily I didn’t have a hangover for …

Day 5!

Approaching the boarder! The hills hadn’t subsided and only got bigger as I approached Cambodia. Bigger hills, not so good for my legs but beautiful on the eyes. I got to Ban Laem border cross in the early afternoon.  

Now here was somewhere I didn’t like. Gone were the usual franticly-excited cries of 

“HELLO HELLO HELLO” 

and a hostile atmosphere and glares had replaced them. I was not welcome here. Despite smiling and using some of my newly-leant lingo (as well as my existing Khmer- the language of Cambodia) to try to show HEY I’M NOT A CLASSIC FARANG HAHA. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this place was not somewhere I wanted to stay. I decided to withdraw a bit more money and opt for a hotel- only to find the only ATM didn’t accept my card so I begrudgingly set up my hammock for the night and popped to get some food in town and soak up the most light I could until I was tired enough to go to sleep (that was 8pm when everywhere closed).

The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner this night is over – I thought

So without a torch to draw attention to myself I stealthily snuck into my hammock for the night. Not even a minute after I got in- a light was shining on me from maybe 100m away. All kinds of thoughts are then zooming through my head. The best case scenario would be whoever has just seen me is just going to tell me to move on (and find somewhere else so sleep in the complete darkness). I’m then thinking…do I just lay here? Do I run away? Do I grab my screwdriver from my bag? Do I just ignore that there are now FOUR TORCHES SHINING AT ME AND COMING THIS WAY!?!?!? I’m then scoping- right- if I run, where do I run to? Maybe I can beat off four children, but they aint kids…

It’s not until after the longest 60 seconds of my life, frozen in terror that I catch sight of orange. Not a person- a colour. And for us westerners, orange symbolizes a few things, fire- danger, colourful but dangerous animals, but in this case I knew what that orange meant that totally subsided any terror from the previous minute. Monks.

A group of about 8 saw my pitch when I was out and had come over to offer me shelter for the night. The worst night of my journey had just turned into the best- sleeping in a temple and offered refuge from a group of monks! Couldn’t be more grateful if I tried- the big grin and overuse of “KARP UN KAHH” (thank you) hopefully showed this to them.

Day 6!

Over the boarder to Cambodia.

With an apparent cyclone looming the next day (sorry Mum and Dad, I told you it was only a bit of rain haha) I decided to pelt the journey and make it to Battambang the same day to the home of my good friends from Koh Rong last year- Caro and Chit. A broken peddle and a record breaking 118km later I was at my home for the next few days ! It’s so nice to be back in a place that has my heart, where I can understand what people mean, the familiar scenes and smells and food. I spent a few nights and a few beers with a much overdue catch up with my friends (who are newly ENGAGED!!) and reintroducing myself to a language I haven’t used in a long time.

After a few days I had just 2 ahead of me cycling before having the big introduction of Mum and Dad to favourite country.

CHAPTER 3 WELCOME TO ASIA (Mum and Dad edition)

Now what a fun time this was. Now it's been a while since this all happened so let's try remember the highlights...

Siem Reap
Having our reunion and making the most of the 50c beers. Cycling around Angkorwat (and giving Dad a scare about cycling with no lights or helmet!) and letting Mum loose around the clothes markets.

Kampot
Mum and Dad having their first scooter experience (and Juliette trusting me to drive?!) 
Dad falling into the mud and spoiling his

"brand, spankin', new, white trainers!"

Koh Rong

Island adventures, going to my old zipline park and zooming off for some off-road action on motos. 

I think the photos do the time some justice, what a blast showing my new home to Mum and Dad...untill next time! 

CHAPTER 4 GOODBYE MUM AND DAD

Since my mother and father have abandoned me alone in Asia (the horror!) I’ve spent all of my time crashing with my sister Sara and the family in the little bungalow on the outskirts of the jungle and spending time with my family here. And the Koh Rong effect took place (or as it should be called “Koh Never-Leave-The-Day-You-Say-You-Will Rong” cause I planned to spend one night over at my friends place on Coconut Beach and ended up giving a helping hand behind the bar for a couple of nights in exchange for a swanky beach bungalow. The only force beckoning me to leave was the expiring visa I had the next day. I swear that island is a trap- a fun, beautiful, idyllic, paradise trap. And I’m not too certain I’ll be away for too long…

I’ve left one Island to head to another- Koh Mak and Koh Wai- just on the Thai/Cambodia boarder and a short hop away from Koh Chang where I visited last year. Hopefully it will bring me a bit of camping, some time to write and most importantly – no internet. Before hitting my next big place- Sri Lanka for some long overdue catch ups with my two favourite Sri Lankan’s Adhee and Stephan (who have both quit- and rejoined- ships since I saw them last, and got married!!) and my mate Jordan from Mayrhofen earlier in the year.